Wednesday, April 22, 2009

In memorium

It has been a hard few days. I held my Dad's hand Friday night as he passed away. Cancer had ravaged his body. His beloved wife Virginia ( my step mom) had died 18 months earlier from the same disease. My dad tried to fight but we all know in our heart of hearts that he wanted to be with Ginny. They had retired to a cabin in the Adirondacks where they had a wonderful 15 years, fishing, camping, gardening, and just enjoying life. Our family has many wonderful memories of times spent with them there. I was able to spend some time with my dad these past few weeks as he needed almost constant care. I would care for him on my days off to give my sister a break. My other siblings had done the same. Our relationship had been a tumultuous one, but I think in the past few years a peace had come between us. I heard him tell me he loved me many times these past months when I had longed to hear that from him as a younger person. I will miss that sparkle in his amazing blue eyes when he was teasing you and his sense of humor. We never had heart to heart talks, and I am not sure he knew who I really am as a person. I was always able to just sit quietly with him. I will always remember seeing the glow of his cigarette as he watched a night time thunderstorm, as I would usually wake to join him. I laugh to myself remembering, as a child once again, watching him fish while I sat on a hill behind him. After catching a fish he tossed up the hill towards me, made me scream. To his surprise, I ran down the hill right into the lake. He wasn't expecting that! I think he taught every grandchild in the family, not to eat bread crusts and throw them on the floor, and what "pull my finger" meant. Ginny was (is) his soul mate. After her death he would sit in his chair to watch the sun go down, her empty chair right next to him and talk to her. He told me one day when he sleeps, she curls up to his back, as she always had done. However, when he reached back to touch her she was gone. Ginny was cremated after her death. Her ashes were placed in dad's casket with him and they are buried in a country cemetery under an amazing red beech tree . I think I am going to try to find a marker that says "Gone Fishing". That would be so appropriate. We found this amazing picture of them in their beautiful garden, they tended together. It has an ethereal feel to it. It's like they are in their garden in heaven smiling down on us. May you both rest in peace and be there waiting when I come to join you.

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